WELCOME
A place where I note down littles of my life to share with my dear friends. 
Chanced upon a blog which is written by an ex-colleague. I am so full of admiration about her life, which prompted me to start blogging again. She caught my attention while she was still with this company due to her big round eyes which can talk. She gives people an impression of a typical pretty girl whose life revolves around shopping and more shopping. But I was so wrong, when I realized she is a trained taekwondo player, and represented Singapore in overseas matches. Above that, her excellent English is displayed in her blog. Although her blog is very much preaching about Christianity almost all the time, I was immediately drawn to her expressive and fluent language. Well, that goes to say, do not judge a person by his/her looks, you may be surprise that you are wrong.
Back to updating what is happening to my life this past one year. I read the last blog I had written back in Dec 2011. A part of my life this one year still revolves around that. Heartache. Never had the chance to see him again, though we kept in contact through phone for 8 months. But the heartache of hoping to see him, just for a while, lingers till now. I often find myself hoping to bump into him on mrt, looking at Facebook to see if he has any updates, checking my phone to see if he Whatsapp me. I hated myself for doing that. Mixed feelings, angry for being such a weakling, depressed for my ever predictable failed ending. I have come to accept this, I just need more time. A known-to-all quote which I constantly tell myself "What's meant to be, will be. It's a natural thing. There is absolutely no need to push or force to get it."
Another part of my life this one year is, of course, work. To me, my work must be challenging and varied. You can pay me much but if I have nothing to do, I see no value and purpose in staying on. I thought to myself, if this whole life I am to continue in this job, there will not be much surprise to look forward to and even more so not much to reminisce when I look back on when I grow old. People will think I am weird to have this thought, forsaking a stable, predictable, high-paying job to challenge myself in another job. You see, there are cases where courageous high-flyers quit their jobs to pursue their dreams, some even not earning anymore. I am switching to a work which I feel interesting about. I have always love to watch Hongkong drama series on medical, forensic, criminal field. The opportunity has come along for me to be in this line and I would really like to experience it, the forensic field. Forsaking my bonus is the one heartache I have now.. pain...The other reason, though just a small percentage, which prompt me to resign, is the lingering heartache I have about that man. Deep inside me, I know this contributes.. the sadness whenever I am in places which he appeared before.
The rest of my life this one year, revolves around my piano, my friends, my family, my workout and dramas. I have come to love piano so much, the soothing music which heals and comfort my soul. This is the passion about something which I feel for the first time. My family, a close knitted one. Though we had tiffs, common for all families, the love is ever so strong. My recent sadness of the passing of my grandma. She will always be in our heart. My friends, not many, but they are close ones. We do not need to say anything to each other, yet we stay connected to each other. My workout, have been hitting the gym once or twice a week during lunchtime, and am loving it. Last, running man and korean dramas. Sometimes I feel that spending time on this is unhealthy and wasting time but no harm watching once in a while to de-stress, Haha and pororo !! Monday couple!!
Closing a chapter of my life soon, and hoping to move on. While moving on, I pray that I can still keep in close contact with this group of friends I know from my present company, who stand by me all the while and add colours to my career. My secondment comrade, SM amd AM. My former lab BFF, Ela. My "no focus" lab, Hana. Please let me go through this with happiness and more happiness awaits me in the next chapter.
He quit his job... a shock to me. Couldn't believe it, so I picked up the courage to call him and ask why. Seemed like I had the hunch that I may not see him again. Before I knew he quit, I asked him I will see him again as I need to pass him some souvenir fr Taiwan.
親人－丁當
心很平静。:)
越想努力争取，就越发现它离我更远。握不牢， 也抓不住。:(
1st day of 2011 into work. Thought that things are turning better for me, but no. Got into another trouble because I delayed informing another colleague about the arrangement. Seems like I am the cause of trouble, always creating troubles for others :( good opportunity thrown to me is not appreciated. I am no help to my boss. How to jump out of lab when i can't even write a proper email.
Grateful for having HFG in my life ^.^ ... Thx for Jea and ling effort.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Dunno of its a good thing or not.. After I called him, we become closer friends, the barrier between us seems to have dissolved. Just last Monday, he treated me to an expensive buffer dinner at JP and we talked comfortably just like old friends. Got to know him more.. In the past, I always feel that he is very secretive, disappear n appear as and when he likes. After the meal, I got to know him as a person who thinks really maturely, who is so busy with meetings, work and studies. He told me that "we are all human" when I complained that some ppl r difficult to deal with. Always have the impression that he is serious guy who demands a lot from his staff, but not anymore after talking to him. He also told me that it is very impt to take care of yourself, that he sees many ppl who are affected much by work and relationships. Is it a blessing in disguise that he left the company? If he stays on, I will long to see him take the same shuttle bus with me and on the mrt back home. But we will forever remain in this situation. Now that he has tendered, we are able to talk comfortably on phone n whatsapp.. But our life will become more distant as he settles into another job and busy with his work which is totally unrelated to mine anymore. This is the case with other ex- colleagues, we r on facebook but not contacting anymore.
Still, this friendship between us is really special which I felt happy to have. He has given me advices which he may not be aware of. Hopefully we can remain in contact for as long as possible. Sad but have to accept it.
Friday, April 15, 2011
别打开礼物的缎带
最初充满期待最后都腐败
别打开午夜的电台
别让情歌反覆再愚弄
而爱并没有教给我生存
只教我交易虚荣给天真
可是爱让我们变成陌生人
却变不了更高尚的灵魂
不要吻我只要抱着我
不要爱我做我的亲人
把手借我一天一分钟
做我最亲密的亲人
不是谁的情人谁的某某某
就算我全身湿透透
我也不再被谁牵着鼻子走
如果我还握住拳头
可能我怕我的梦飞走
而爱并不如你想的万能
不能让我们不再战争
可是爱连慈悲也没多慈悲
谁爱越深越容易被牺牲
不要吻我只要抱着我
不要爱我做我的亲人
把手借我一天一分钟
让我还敢做我的梦
做我梦中伟大的微笑的英雄
不要吻我只要抱着我
不要爱我做我的亲人
把手借我一天一分钟
让我还敢做我的梦
做我梦中伟大的微笑的英雄
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Monday, January 03, 2011
Will 2011 be as bad as 2010? :(
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Look forward to my short trip, away from the suffocating workload. Realize that stress from work has made me ugly, vented my fustrations on an innocent colleague. Felt very sorry after that but dunno how to apologize. Remind myself to keep cool at all circumstances after that incident.
Busy December !!!